Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
