Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
