Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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