You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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