As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
