Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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