He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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