I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
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Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
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I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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