sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
