Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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