Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
