Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
