Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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