my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
