That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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