im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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