i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
