did you get engaged???
I can text with my tongue
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This gyro tastes like lonliness
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
