its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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