its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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