so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
