New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
P.S. I can't hear my feet
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
