I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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