one might say we're banned from that church
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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