You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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