she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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