Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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