It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
