come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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