if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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