South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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