Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Randomize
