Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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