Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
