I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
