We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
