Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
