You're my little dorito
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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