hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
one two three fourrrrnication!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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