i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
