I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
