He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
