matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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