why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
