Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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