I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We were destined to go to rehab together
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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