Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
