Got a toothbrush?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I understand Curling. That high.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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