And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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