yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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