So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
