Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I intend to get homeless drunk
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
