Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
