Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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