the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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