physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
