I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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