you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
