that's an acceptable place to lick
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
